Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Unemployment Brings Me To the Popular Girls' Table

What's worse than being laid off after 12 years? Being laid off while others still employed know you have information they can use to still further their careers. This is where I stand. I used to think that I worked with adults, be it misguided adults, but nonetheless professional adults. Sachel always felt the odd man out in that scenerio. While poking fun at company rhetoric and the 'go,team, go!' corporate e-mails from a primarily outsource-seeking company,

Sachel had always known that eventually the corporate axe would come. For the meantime, though, Sachel would weekly fantasize how that event would go down. After all, we had seen unethical behavior right and left including favoritism, nepotism, retaliation, blatant lies, and information that had key information selectively forgotten. I guess after years of feeling your intelligence had been insulted, Sachel yearned for the opportunity for when that favor could be returned, in the most dramatic and entertaining of ways....in true Sachel style.

The first of which was....

Having some really horrible prom dresses on hand for our final interview and escort out of the building, only to distract from the cornucopia of insults that would surface...


requesting that all separation agreements, termination paperwork, and subsequent continuation of benefits paperwork be presented to us via the Big Red Chief tablet!

Hitting them where it would hurt the most, below the LDS bible belt....

 Use that precise moment of termination to introduce the world to Psychotic Spice and Ineeda Xanax Spice as we take a turn on the Dream Girls' classic "You're Gonna Love Me".

Although we were never able to fulfill our dreams of exiting our corporate environment with the grace and dignity that we had so long planned for, Sachel remains strong-fast as the unfolding drama of those left clammer at each other's necks....still trying to convince others and themselves of their company purpose.

For those still calling me, to get specific information on particular people....I have this to say: You had your chance to play in the Sachel sandbox, and now you shouldn't cry when getting bitch-slapped with the shovel and bucket.


  1. LMAO! Oh if only this dream could have been realized.

  2. It would have so seriously gone down in history. Even Lynn would have been like "umm..they did what, now?" We could have given him a whole new idea for his new book...I would have so pocketed that $10!

  3. Hahaha. You definitely need to have one of your entries touch upon the correlation between company Christmas bonuses and the amount given to homeless people for their pictures. I personally don't think it was any kind of coincidence.

  4. believe me...already had the idea of posting his book. I need to find the clip he did for that morning show, though!