Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Mormon Weddings & Why I Finally Understand Al-Qaeda

Ohhhh....This is going to be good! I absolutely LOVE when certain people, who I dislike, do not privatize their settings on Facebook! Oh Flann (not her true name), not only are you a delusional cunt, but a complete obtuse tool as well. Let me preface this blog with the fact that Flann 'likes' the "No Cussing Club" as part of her interests on Facebook, so I must pay homage by using as much foul language as humanly possible for this particular post. Also, I have blocked the identities of those in the pictures (with the exception of Flann), because...after all...this is not is just fucking gold!

(Further fucking note: this bitch of a motherless whore took over my department, sent me three e-mails within a month and a half, and made the 'educated' decision to terminate my employment in the lay off)

This is Flann and her husband...
 Flann also 'likes' Glenn Beck and "Peeps For a Costco At 10400 S. and Bangerter" fucking well rounded of the cunt! It gives me that warm fuzzy feeling that she supports crazy shitbags for small government when she contributes to placing people in the position to rely on services from big government. Fucking hypocritical hoe-bag. You would think it would make me feel better that she is down with the homies for homogenized member-only shopping, but nah...she is still a raging cunt bag who needs a good douche!

Every good Mormon wedding should include...
 a reenactment of when Joseph Smith found the golden tablets! Look at them all...staring on like those 'tablets' just might reappear! Don't worry Jebeniah...I have my fingers crossed for you too!
 Well Jesus Fucking Christ on the cross....looks like Jebeniah is another statistic of our failed public school system. Fucking dumb ass, you brought shame upon the temple and your 'peeps'!
Speaking of looks like syphilis was not the ONLY thing Flann got on that weekend she decided to stray from the church, enter the groom...
oh yeah....NOW it is a party....

holla at ya boy...woot woot!
 Get Funky! Get down wit yo bad self....
 Ahhh hell....let's face it...THIS is the type of fucking over-confident shit that other countries see and absolutely hate us for. Can you blame them, honestly?!? I see this, and want to turn away like it is a bad fucking car wreck...because you know that there is just going to be nothing but carnage by the time everything stops. Even that poor soul in the back is trying to get, fucker, run!!! I will leave this display with one final thought....none of this involved a fucking drop of alcohol (or that we can openly admit I right, boys?).
Oh....lets get a picture of the marriage carriage....
I guaran-fuckin-tee you that I have NEVER seen the stylish poetry of "oh m m yeah" on the back of any newlywed car. Not to mention the bloody 'Just Married' scribble...was there a pre-ceremony sacrifice? Wtf?!? Maybe Flann had her period and just scooted around the back window, like a nasty bitch clinging to marking her territory. Lastly, fucking Jebeniah....only your 3rd-grade educated ass would think of ever writing on the fucking paint of the car. You ignorant bastard! I hope you end up with a hard on in a village full of cannibals on your next 'mission'. I mean, these are the fuckers that need to be spreading 'the word'? Here's a mission for you commune-living, underwear loving, polygamy-bred, cult believing, Stepford inspired, bastards: Go fuck yourselves, because some stigmas and stereotypes are such because they are the fucking truth.

My parting words go to Flann. Where I normally would view this as a very harsh post, full of unprofessional candor and assumptions, I only give back to you what you have given to me. I believe that all things eventually come around in this world. Honey, cussing is not the be all end all of evils. Lack of humanity and the inability to empathize is.  When you are delivering news that forever affects a person's life, you can not openly admit to that person that they are just a number, nor is it allowed to insult that person's intelligence by spouting rhetoric and propaganda. If this is the worst that comes around to you, believe got off way too easy.


  1. LMAO....I thought this was the best post yet! C'mon..Jebeniah? Flann marking her territory? Whateva..that shit was funny!

  2. just to let you know...I have blocked Flann (lol), Susie, Tucky, and Treiber on FB. I know that sometimes our privacy settings get reset, so I just blocked them to keep all privacy.